By Nabamita Sinha
We all tell little lies sometimes, right? Maybe to avoid hurting someone or to dodge some hassle. But then some folks lie constantly — like it’s a reflex — even when being honest would make more sense.
That’s what compulsive lying disorder is about: a kind of uncontrollable lying habit that messes up relationships and can seriously derail lives.
Knowing what’s behind it helps you see it’s not just about being “bad” or manipulative—and points to ways someone might get better.
What Does Compulsive Lying Disorder Really Mean?
Compulsive lying disorder isn’t just your run-of-the-mill “I didn’t do the dishes” kind of fib. It’s this weird, automatic thing where people lie about stuff that’s honestly pretty meaningless.
For instance, what they ate for breakfast or make up crazy stories about their past that sound like pure fantasy. It’s not like they’re planning it out or trying to get one over on you. The lies just come out, almost without thought.
Most of us lie for reasons: to avoid getting in trouble, or maybe to make things easier, or to protect someone’s feelings. But compulsive liars? Their lies don’t really have a clear purpose—they sometimes even cause more trouble than good. And ask them later why they lied, and they’re often stumped.
Doctors don’t officially call compulsive lying a standalone “disorder” in the DSM-5, but it shows up as a symptom in conditions like antisocial or narcissistic personality disorders.
Moreover, some experts think it really deserves its own label. Usually, it starts in the teen years or early adulthood and can drag on for years.
People might know their lying causes issues, but feel totally stuck—like they can’t stop, even if they want to. That’s different from people who lie on purpose for gain; this is more out of control.
What Drives This Behavior?
There’s a mix of stuff that feeds this habit. Low self-esteem is one big reason — people want to seem cooler, more impressive, or just better than they feel inside, so they make stuff up. Sometimes it’s about escaping a reality they don’t like.
Early life experiences matter a lot, too. Maybe growing up, honest kids got punished, while those who lied got by okay—so they learned lying was the safer bet. This mindset basically sticks like glue.
Then there’s anxiety. Some compulsive liars lie to avoid how they think others might react, even if it’s not likely that those reactions will happen. The lie feels like the safer bet, more comfortable than risking the truth. That keeps the cycle going.
Also, some crave attention. Wild stories get people interested and sympathetic, which then feeds the lying further. Brain stuff might be involved as well — studies point to differences in the part of the brain that usually helps control impulses.
How To Spot The Pattern
Here’s how compulsive lying is different from the usual fib now and then:
- Lying about things that don’t really matter or don’t need lying at all
- Making up detailed stories that fall apart under a bit of scrutiny
- Keeping on lying again and again, even after being caught
- Showing little guilt or remorse when confronted
- Sometimes they believe their own lies or mix up truth and fiction
- Lying with no clear benefit, sometimes making things worse
How This Damages Lives
The damage isn’t just from isolated lies. Trust takes a huge hit; relationships fall apart because friends, family, or partners feel betrayed when they learn how often they were deceived. Even small lies make it tough to believe anything that person says.
Work life suffers, too. Colleagues and bosses lose trust, which blocks promotions and can lead to someone being fired. Lying about qualifications or work stuff can be career-ending. Plus, that bad rep tends to follow from job to job.
Sometimes legal trouble pops up from lying to authorities or on official documents—this can end badly with criminal charges. Financial lies add another mess altogether.
And for the liar? It’s mentally exhausting. Keeping track of all the falsehoods is stressful, creating anxiety and fear of being exposed. Depression, isolation, and shame often follow. If depression gets really deep and won’t budge, spravato for depression might be an option alongside therapy to tackle all the mental health layers.
When Things Hit Crisis Level
If the lies start threatening someone’s safety or well-being, that’s a red flag screaming for help. Financial fraud or deception affecting family security is serious too. Suicidal thoughts, deep depression linked to shame, or self-harm behaviors demand immediate professional care.
Getting Professional Help
Therapy is the best way to deal with this, but admitting it and starting is the hardest step that one has to take. This is difficult because compulsive liars do not accept their behavior for years and continue with this habit.
Most therapy tries to figure out the triggers of this lying reflex and find a better coping mechanism. CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy, is quite popular. It helps people understand their thought processes, which can lead to lying, and teaches them how to pause and choose honesty.
It helps people understand why they are lying, whether it is low self-esteem, anxiety, or whether they crave attention, and then the process of treatment.
Building real self-esteem or learning to manage anxiety can cut the urge to lie. If attention-seeking is the cause, finding healthier ways to connect is crucial.
Group therapy works wonders. Hearing what others are struggling with can build support and reduce shame. Moreover, one can go for family therapy as well, and this mends broken trusts and teaches how to support their loved ones.
Treatment Approaches That Help
Some solid options include:
- CBT to change those lying-related thoughts
- Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) for emotional control
- Psychodynamic therapy to explore childhood roots and motives
- Motivational interviewing to foster real change motivation
- Group therapy for peer support and checks
- Family therapy for healthier communication and boundaries
Practical Steps For Recovery
Outside therapy, there are helpful tricks. Keeping a “lie journal” to track when and why lying happens can reveal patterns.
Practicing honesty in small, low-stakes moments builds confidence. Pausing a moment before speaking makes a big difference—letting you choose truth instead of automatic lies.
Having an accountability buddy sounds simple, but it works wonders. Real self-esteem gains from genuine activities—like hobbies or volunteering—cut down on the need to fake achievements or stories.
Supporting Someone Who Lies Compulsively
It’s tricky for friends and family. How to help without enabling? Setting clear limits is key, but so is patience.
Calling out lies calmly and briefly — just “That’s not true,” then moving on — beats dramatic confrontations. Encouraging them to get professional help and even going to sessions together shows support.
Remember to look after yourself, too. Living with a compulsive liar can be exhausting. Finding your own support system or therapy helps keep you sane.
Do Not Delay The Treatment
Compulsive lying disorder can wreck lives, but it gets better with treatment. However, the recovery process can only begin when one admits there is a problem and begins to investigate what is causing this habit. It is tough, but people actually can take the right turn with the right support.
The trick is to see it as a psychological issue—not just someone choosing to be dishonest. When we approach it with curiosity, patience, and compassion, real change becomes possible.
