Everyone talks about the foster parents. We admire their strength, their heroic gestures and kind heart. They deserve all these lovely things as they try and make the difference in the lives of the children. But we often forget about the children who are actually involved in the scenario. They are the main victims of the situation they never asked for. They are the survivors and the fighters.
They experience traumas at the very early stage of life. They are helpless when they are not able to help their parents. They see their parents go through a very bad phase in life; some see them fighting diseases and for their life, some see them struggling for finding jobs, being cashless and being unable to feed their children, some go through the physical and emotional abuse by their parents, some might have to watch their parents drenched in the addiction of drugs. Dealing with parents who are involved in theft or addicted to drugs has the most negative impact on the children. Children have to act grown up at their age of innocence and handle their parents like they are older than them.
Moreover, children do not even get a say in any of this. The court decides the fate of their children when their parents are not around or when they are not in the mental and physical health to handle the children. The court then sends the child to a child care institution or to foster homes. In some of the cases, children are not even allowed to meet their birth parents.
Below are few of the emotional and mental changes that children go through during the traumas and horrific incidents in their lives and when they go their foster homes:
1. Constant fear:
Foster kids live in the constant fear of loss and damage in their lives. They feel as if their whole life is in jeopardy and nothing they do or say will stabilize it. The first fear arises when they have to depart from their families. The thought of living without their birth family will terrify anyone. The option of foster care provides them with a very safe and healthy environment. Companies like https://perpetualfostering.co.uk/ make sure that every foster family treat the children properly with care and fulfill their basic needs. But the children still need time to open up and express themselves in front of the foster families. They are conscious of what they speak or how they live because of the idea of switching foster homes also terrifies them. This fear is settled among them for their whole lifetime.
2. More responsibility:
These little souls have to shoulder responsibility at a very early age. Once they are on their own, they have to take care of themselves and their siblings. Getting education along with taking care of them is a big task. At the age where their only work is to play and complete their homework, they have to deal with court hearings and emotional traumas. Although foster parents try their best to lessen their burden and bring back the joy in their lives. As much as they try and let go of the worries, they again have to bear the court hearings and take care of their parents. Worry and responsibility become a permanent part of their life.
These constant worries, uncertainties, and responsibilities make a child stronger and prepared to face anything in life. When a person has seen and been through so much at an early stage, he is not affected by petty problems in life. A tough person knows that he has nothing to lose, and is strong enough to make it through the worst of times. The possibility of losing a relationship, the fear of getting a perfect job is things slowly become their strength and not weakness. With what they have seen in their childhood, they thrive to be the perfect parents to their own children and do everything they can to give them an innocent and comfortable childhood which they did not have.
Although it is good to become a strong person who is self-dependent; but these children become guarded in the process of getting stronger. They are scared to express themselves in front of anyone, even in front of their closest family members. They get the habit of not revealing their identity and true emotions even in front of their spouses and children. Switching homes make them hold their defense up and not share their experiences and feelings, even if they get wonderful foster parents who treat them as their own.